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Days after Mostafa Ahmadi was taken to an Iranian prison cell, he was summoned by guards to identify his mother's corpse.

Like so many Afghan refugees, the 25-year-old and his mother had been caught trying to smuggle themselves from Iran to Turkey. Ahmadi was trying to take his mother to Europe to receive urgent cancer treatment, but they never made it past the Iranian border.

Ahmadi and his family were spotted among a group of forty Afghans on the mountains. And while he helped his sisters escape, he stayed behind to be with his mother.

"They separated us in prison based on our gender. My mother was dying and they wouldn't let me care for her," he told °®Âþµº, smoking a cigarette.

"After she passed away, I was handcuffed and dragged into a freezing room. That's where I saw her body. Two guards stood over me as I said goodbye for the last time."




Ahmadi, now living in the Turkish city of Istanbul, is one of thousands of people who have been caught trying to sneak into Turkey from Iran. More than Afghans travel this route every day, while nearly are sent back, reports Afghanistan's Ministry of Refugees and Returnees.

Some Afghans venture along this road to leave behind a life of limited legal status and opportunities in Iran. Others migrate this way to escape the escalating violence in their homeland. But common among their plight is the perilous journey ahead.  

An unbearable cost

When Joma Rahman was 16 years old, he fled Afghanistan without telling his parents. He says he first paid a bribe to a worker at the Iranian embassy to obtain a visa. And once there, he quickly found a job as a construction worker which paid him a meagre $225 a month.

He worked for a year until he could afford a smuggler to take him to Turkey. The journey was priced at $600 - but nearly cost him his life.

"There were dozens of [Afghans and Pakistanis] with me. We were very close to the Turkish border when we heard gun shots," said Rahman. "When I saw the police kill two people from our group, I started running as fast as I could."

Rahman eventually hid behind a rock. He stayed there until sunrise. That's when he spotted his smuggler, and a handful of other Afghans who had evaded arrest. Once they reached Turkey, they were locked in a house in the south-eastern province of Van.

Rahman was held there until his parents paid money to a broker in Afghanistan. He was released the next day.

	Joma Rahman at his home in Yalova [Mat Nashed]

One step forward, two steps back

Turkey might be the only destination where Afghans can dwell without being constantly harassed.

In practically every other place, they're on the verge of being deported.

So far this year, Pakistan has deported more than Afghans, according to the UN office for the coordination of humanitarian affairs. More than 250,000 Afghans have returned from Iran in the same timespan. Not surprisingly, the lack of state services, security, and international support has made it impossible for the government to aid so many people at once.

Aspasia Papadopoulou, the Senior Policy Officer for the European Council on Refugees and Exiles, noted that Afghan refugees remain one of the most neglected populations in the world.

"There is less understanding and awareness of the risks that people face in Afghanistan," she told °®Âþµº over Skype. "The argument for Syrians has already been won. Few people will claim that they are not refugees. But there needs to be more awareness about the plight of other people."

Before the Syrian war, Afghanistan produced the most refugees in the world. The Taliban's recent resurgence has compounded the crisis. Right now, a staggering 1.2 million people are internally displaced, according to Amnesty International. The Borgen report also estimates that  of the Afghan population lives below the poverty line.

The EU has nevertheless declared the country "safe" to deport failed asylum seekers back to. The paradox is striking, considering member states advise their citizens to avoid all travel to Afghanistan because of the war.  

A never-ending journey

Afghans have few options after they're sent back. Most either stay in the  conflict zone or undertake the precarious journey to Turkey for a second time. Ahmadi decided on the latter after he was deported by Iranian authorities.

Afghanistan was unbearable for him. He couldn't find work and his relatives blamed him for the death of his mother almost every day.

"I stayed in Afghanistan for five months until I could get a visa from the Iranian embassy," Ahmadi said. "I had to pay a $450 deposit. The [authorities] told me that I would get the money back when I returned. But nobody ever wants to return to this place."

Now back where he started, Ahmadi didn't waste time finding a smuggler who could sneak him and his cousin into Turkey. The journey saw them traverse mountains, and the last one was the steepest. Large rocks tumbled past Ahmadi as he slowly made his descent. The smuggler eventually left him behind because he couldn't keep up the pace.

Though abandoned, he walked for 19 hours without sleep until he arrived in Turkey - a country where he now lives in legal limbo with his two sisters. He travels every two weeks from Istanbul to Yalova to sign a register at a police station. The trip is time consuming and expensive, but it's the only way he can keep his asylum case open.

Ahmadi is under no illusions, however. With the world closing its doors to the plight of Afghans, he doesn't expect to be given international protection.

"There doesn't seem to be any reason or purpose for my future," he told °®Âþµº, tossing his cigarette to the ground. "I don't know what I'll do if my application is denied. But I'll never take my sisters back to Afghanistan."

Mat Nashed is a Lebanon-based journalist covering displacement and exile. Follow him on Twitter: