Lebanon: A war child looks for his mother
Lebanon: A war child looks for his mother
Having grown up in Holland after being adopted during the Lebanese civil war, Stefan returns to Lebanon in search of his natural mother.
4 min read
Stefan felt at home as soon as he landed in Beirut [AFP]
He was five when he first noticed he was different. His white-skinned classmates would look on him as inferior because of his dark skin.
When he asked his Dutch parents why he was different they told him he was adopted. His natural parents were Lebanese and they had adopted during the Lebanese civil war when he was a baby.
Stefan, as his new family named him, had a difficult childhood. He was constantly troubled with questions about who he was, where his mother was, why she had abandoned him, and if he would ever see her again.
Growing distant from his adoptive parent he began to see them as two people who were just looking after him.
Obsessed with his natural mother, he would picture her face. Sometimes she had brown-skin and deep blue eyes like his. He invented different scenarios as to why she had left him. Forgiving her, he did not blame her for what she had done, all he wanted was to see her again.
Throughout Stefan's adolescence and young adulthood she was constantly on his mind. Following the news from Lebanon he wondered what religion she was and if she was Lebanese or Palestinian. He collected all his adoption documents and waited for the opportunity to return to Lebanon and find her.
Adla and Ibrahim
Like Stefan over 4,000 children born in Lebanon during the civil war were adopted by European families, and many have returned to find their families. Some have official documents given their adoptive parents gave them.
These documents differ depending on the institution they were adopted through. Some of them have Lebanese passports without their original names or the names of their parents, others have church adoption documents or hospital birth certificates.
Lots of these documents contain the same information, suggesting the adoptions were organised by the same group. The most common information is their place of birth, a hospital called al-Ashrafiyeh, and references to the Armenian Evangelical Church in Ashrafieh, an upper-class Christian district in east Beirut.
The names Adla and Ibrahim S are also found on many of the documents. Stefan discovered they were married and had organised the adoptions together. Adla was a doctor who found children to be adopted, while Ibrahim would find foreign families who wanted to adopt. The child's family would meet the couple at a church in Beirut and give them $5,000. Adla is now over 90 and living in Amsterdam, while her husband died a while ago.
Reunion
After a three-year wait Stefan finally landed in Beirut's international airport. As soon as the plane set down he felt a sense relief and belonging. He headed to al-Ashrafiyeh hospital where he was born to start his search, only to find it had been converted into flats without a trace of any doctors or nurses.
Sitting at the building's entrance he cried bitterly, and asked himself questions: "My mother walked up these steps, which room did she give birth to me in? Did she give me up immediately? Did they let her see me?" He then went to the Armenian Evangelical Church but they told him they had no information. It seemed his dream of being reunited with his mother was becoming more distant.
Refusing to give up, Stefan visited the doctor who signed his birth certificate, but he initially denied any involvement. But when Stefan returned, he told him he was actually born at a house in Beirut's Ain al-Rummaneh district. The doctor did not know where the house was, but said the information on his documents was probably wrong. When Stefan returned again, the doctor warned him against digging too deeply into the case.
Stefan told his story to the media and gave them his baby pictures, hoping his mother would see them and recognise him. He travelled to Amsterdam to see Adla who refused to discuss it, and told him everything she had done was to help children abandoned by their parents.
After appearing in the media, Stefan was put in touch with several families that had given up children for adoption around the time he was born. Although DNA tests showed they were not related he has kept in touch with some.
Now Stefan cannot leave Lebanon for more than three or four weeks. It is where he feels at peace . It lets him feel close to his mother even though he has never felt her embrace. As he looks into the eyes of women in the streets he wonders if she is one of them.
Having learnt to cook Lebanese food and speak Arabic, Stefan strives to be Lebanese, even to drive like them with no rules or regulations. Having become Lebanese in his heart and soul, all he is missing now is his mother.
This article is an edited translation from our Arabic edition.
Opinions expressed in this article remain those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of al-Araby al-Jadeed, its editorial board or staff.
When he asked his Dutch parents why he was different they told him he was adopted. His natural parents were Lebanese and they had adopted during the Lebanese civil war when he was a baby.
Stefan, as his new family named him, had a difficult childhood. He was constantly troubled with questions about who he was, where his mother was, why she had abandoned him, and if he would ever see her again.
Growing distant from his adoptive parent he began to see them as two people who were just looking after him.
Obsessed with his natural mother, he would picture her face. Sometimes she had brown-skin and deep blue eyes like his. He invented different scenarios as to why she had left him. Forgiving her, he did not blame her for what she had done, all he wanted was to see her again.
Throughout Stefan's adolescence and young adulthood she was constantly on his mind. Following the news from Lebanon he wondered what religion she was and if she was Lebanese or Palestinian. He collected all his adoption documents and waited for the opportunity to return to Lebanon and find her.
Adla and Ibrahim
Like Stefan over 4,000 children born in Lebanon during the civil war were adopted by European families, and many have returned to find their families. Some have official documents given their adoptive parents gave them.
These documents differ depending on the institution they were adopted through. Some of them have Lebanese passports without their original names or the names of their parents, others have church adoption documents or hospital birth certificates.
 |
Having become Lebanese in his heart and soul, all he is missing now is his mother. |
Lots of these documents contain the same information, suggesting the adoptions were organised by the same group. The most common information is their place of birth, a hospital called al-Ashrafiyeh, and references to the Armenian Evangelical Church in Ashrafieh, an upper-class Christian district in east Beirut.
The names Adla and Ibrahim S are also found on many of the documents. Stefan discovered they were married and had organised the adoptions together. Adla was a doctor who found children to be adopted, while Ibrahim would find foreign families who wanted to adopt. The child's family would meet the couple at a church in Beirut and give them $5,000. Adla is now over 90 and living in Amsterdam, while her husband died a while ago.
Reunion
After a three-year wait Stefan finally landed in Beirut's international airport. As soon as the plane set down he felt a sense relief and belonging. He headed to al-Ashrafiyeh hospital where he was born to start his search, only to find it had been converted into flats without a trace of any doctors or nurses.
Sitting at the building's entrance he cried bitterly, and asked himself questions: "My mother walked up these steps, which room did she give birth to me in? Did she give me up immediately? Did they let her see me?" He then went to the Armenian Evangelical Church but they told him they had no information. It seemed his dream of being reunited with his mother was becoming more distant.
Refusing to give up, Stefan visited the doctor who signed his birth certificate, but he initially denied any involvement. But when Stefan returned, he told him he was actually born at a house in Beirut's Ain al-Rummaneh district. The doctor did not know where the house was, but said the information on his documents was probably wrong. When Stefan returned again, the doctor warned him against digging too deeply into the case.
Stefan told his story to the media and gave them his baby pictures, hoping his mother would see them and recognise him. He travelled to Amsterdam to see Adla who refused to discuss it, and told him everything she had done was to help children abandoned by their parents.
After appearing in the media, Stefan was put in touch with several families that had given up children for adoption around the time he was born. Although DNA tests showed they were not related he has kept in touch with some.
Now Stefan cannot leave Lebanon for more than three or four weeks. It is where he feels at peace . It lets him feel close to his mother even though he has never felt her embrace. As he looks into the eyes of women in the streets he wonders if she is one of them.
Having learnt to cook Lebanese food and speak Arabic, Stefan strives to be Lebanese, even to drive like them with no rules or regulations. Having become Lebanese in his heart and soul, all he is missing now is his mother.
This article is an edited translation from our Arabic edition.
Opinions expressed in this article remain those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of al-Araby al-Jadeed, its editorial board or staff.
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